Do you read this subjectively or objectively? I’m trying to imagine how I would react to reading an evaluation written about myself.
Objectively. I think it’s interesting to read professional impressions of you, especially considering that they’re cutting right down to it.
I always wanted to steal my file from those who kept it because it’s like. Tell me the things you believe go on in my brain, person with the qualifications to do so. Use words that I have to look up because the context does nothing to clarify them. Yes good fascinating.
Also having a professional tell you “….that’s an abnormal behavior/feeling” and realizing that no you are wrong what you have figured was normal this whole time is not. Is like. Crazy.
For example one of the most intense things I was ever told had to do with the fact that just because I’m not directly talking to/in the presence of/interacting with somebody, doesn’t mean I cease to exist in their mind. I had the idea that physically removing myself from people also sucked me out of their consciousness and that nobody ever thought about me or talked about me, because I wasn’t there to remind them that I existed.
It was something along the lines of
"You do realize that people remember you exist even when you aren’t there, right?"
"…..N….no..ooo…..oooohhh ahhh no."
Like I still have trouble imagining that anyone ever thinks about me because like I mean I don’t know I’m not even one thing I’m ten thousand characters of fiction.